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Saturday, September 18, 2010, 12:37 AM
reflection:im not one who opens up, never was...
i jux kept quiet, kp it all bottled up, because i think im strong enuff to handle it on my own.
because i always believe that the onie person who could solve my "problems" is me.
it was only last year tt i learnt to let my worries out, told them everything, it felt good at first.
finally able to let some go. but unfortunately i find myself feeling weaker, i was not as strong as i used to be. wat mks it worst was the ears who listened dun have an honest heart, leaving me all messed up.
i realised that keeping things by myself is what that gives me strength. it is what that allows me to think, reflect, analyse and decide. by keeping things to myself, im hearing my own voice, keeping my emotions in check, focused, & not be influenced by others.
i realised that when i open up, im being dependant, i react in a way that i dun usually react. because my heart & mind is tainted by what other people feel & how they react. i get angry bt in actual fact i wasn't, i feel sad bt normally those things wun affect me much. & became vulnerable.
so now im back to my ownself again. its hard..bt i can mk it :) im making myself sound like i dun need help, i do. but i will come to u wen i need it. so in e mean time, dun try to squeeze things outta me. i need my space to think.
~ sometimes i find tt im a very wierd girl :B